6 Ways to Surrender & Create Space for Your Unlimited Potential

Releasing control and making way for the most powerful version of you can feel pretty scary. But, interestingly, it's not just the letting go part that gets us tripped up. It's also confronting that we have a potential far beyond what we can force into place. So why do we need to practice surrendering? When you hold on tightly to expectations or outcomes for yourself or the external world, you are sinking your precious energy into unproductive or, worse, destructive stress. Shifting controlling energy into surrender energy creates space and taps you into unlimited potential.  Of all our suggested intentions in our Brighter Being system, activating this one has been one of the most challenging AND rewarding in our experience.   

There are three basic tenets to get our brains wrapped around before diving into our favorite practices for tapping into the brightest version of you. Namely, 

1. You are not in control of the world. It is certainly uncertain. 
2. You do have unlimited potential, and 
3. Just because you can pull things in one direction does not mean that it is in your best interest to do so.  

You can check out our article on the theme of flow to get a (re)dose of reality on the first tenant. In addition, there is an article about recognizing your value that may help you truly accept your brilliance because we know seeing the highest version of yourself can sometimes feel like a stroll through a house of mirrors.   

This article will focus on the last tenant (letting go when it doesn't seem required) because it is at the heart of our work. We've found it's easy to nod your head in agreement. "Yeah, of course, I don't have to micromanage the laundry routine in my house." Or… "I know I don't control my boss' feelings, so I'm not going to stay another late night to try to fix a problem I didn't cause." These are just a few tiny examples. There are some big honkers, too, like, "I know I'm not in control of my loved one's behavior, so I'll stop reminding them of better choices." We can rationalize these scenarios, but when it comes to actively releasing and letting go of control, it is a whole other can of worms! Scientists have proven that we are biologically inclined to hold on rather than let go.  


Hopefully, this preamble gives you a good sense that there are some big chunky topics to address to really get at the core of surrendering. We can promise that your attention to this concept is well worth the investment of your energy. We hope that you’ll find that the practices we've curated below give you a boost of energy. Letting go, especially of control, is one of the fastest ways to lighten your emotional load – aka stress!

If you'd like to get started by strengthening your ability to tap into the present moment, take a peek at these simple, quick activities.

1. Do A Brain Dump of Your Feelings

A helpful place to begin letting go of control is learning what may be at the source of your need to control. Often we hold on to outcomes because we're trying to avoid some kind of potential discomfort. This is especially true for trying to manage emotions. Suppressed emotions need some room to be expressed and processed. Ticking off all of the things that are causing you angst will do wonders for your self-awareness. When you pull any of these negative emotions into the light, it helps to give you a bit of a map or at least a starting place.  

As you notice these patterns or triggers that stir up your desire to control, a mindfulness exercise is a fantastic way to support your healing. First, choose an alternate response you'd like to take next time that pattern shows up. As an example, you might decide to take a few deep breaths before you dive right into old, controlling behavior. Or there may be a more customized visualization you have of yourself floating above the clouds and letting the air take you across the landscape. Whatever your "pattern interrupt" is, get clear about it and the triggers for you to deploy it. AND, in advance, forgive yourself if you aren't always successful at keeping your commitment. It happens. That's why this is a practice.   

 

2. Accept Uncertainty as Part of the Journey of Life 

Acceptance and letting go are like two peas in a pod. When you fully embrace the current reality as okay, you can step into the pool of surrender. Investment in an alternate reality or future state is a stake in the ground. As much as you try to let go, surrender, or stop controlling the outcome, it's unlikely to stick. If you think you've moved past acceptance and you find yourself muzzling a controlling behavior, then it's time to check in on your acceptance. These stuffed down feelings are not healthy! We talk about this a lot. Self-restraining without time to process only exacerbates the problem. That said, there is still good reason to celebrate if this is where you are on your journey. It means that you have identified a place where you are investing in unproductive stress. It's now time to shift this useless stress to the bright side. If you haven't found a way to release these emotions by yourself, we highly recommend that you reach out to a licensed professional. They have training and experience that customizes your processing of these emotions.  

So far, we've addressed acceptance in the current reality or situation as a critical starting point. However, there is also a broader acceptance to consider. And that is that you, along with every other human being, do not control the future either. It's a subtle but important difference, and your grip may be in either or both spaces.   

Maybe the discomfort at the root of your control is related to any number of curveballs life could through your way. In this case, perhaps your acceptance (or lack of it) isn't of a particular situation or person in the present. Instead, the notion of uncertainty, in general, is causing your duress. Going down a dark rabbit hole of potential negative scenarios is another example of unproductive stress. If you ruminate on these possible, terrible outcomes, then you have likely moved into destructive stress and are ready for a shift! No one wants or needs to experience all the actual terrible effects of stress that scientists have discovered.  

So how do you go from worry wort to a carefree flutterby? It's about building tolerance for uncertainty. Raising awareness of these worries helps you tag the " helpful " ones and develop solutions. And the ones that get flagged as out of your control and "unnecessary" become easier to release. This is one of our top practices for learning to let go and release. Be patient and kind with yourself, as acceptance is a process rather than an overnight shift.    

 

3. Be Present and Curious to What Shows Up

One of the misunderstandings about letting go of control is that it is passive. The opposite is actually true! Showing up with "surrender energy" may feel even more dynamic and active than when you respond with control. This misconception is easy to understand, as letting things "go with the flow" means you're not rowing that boat. BUT, you do have authority when these moments of potential resistance arrive. Once you feel like you've acknowledged that you have accepted both the current reality and your inability to control the future, there are a few significant opportunities for you to continue growing into and expanding into your potential.  

• Be mindful of what type of energy and circumstances arrive in your life - especially repeating ones! Each of your choices has led you to the exact place you are in today. So what can you learn? What do you notice around you that resonates with you? What feels like something that belongs to an older version of yourself? Listening and responding to this information is central to your development.
• Feel into your state of being as you shift from pushing to allowing. This may sound weird without having gotten there just yet. But, in our experience, there is a notable difference when we approach a relationship or project with open energy. The more openness we show up with, the more often the right people, relationships, and resources arrive to support our intention.
• Welcome the fun that comes with the unknown. Without the uncertainty and challenges that come with being a human, we'd be living in a pretty bland world. With each unexpected twist, we are given the gift to adapt and develop into the brightest version of ourselves!

 

4. Focus Energy on How You Deal With It

Okay, so we've definitely overstated the obvious here about you not having control of the future. So now, a quick sidestep to the other side of the fence. You DO have some control in your life, and it is very healthy for you to honor it! Yippee…. sigh of release. Drumroll…. You have control of your response! Your attitude, mindset, and reaction to whatever arises in the outside world are all yours to own. Research shows that this is a healthier place to rest your focus.  

As added guidance, we've also found that focusing on the intention within your response is particularly helpful. For example, if your action is rooted in a personal value of kindness, focus your mind on this higher purpose. The focus on your personal values is opposed to acting with a picture of what you hope will be someone else's response.   

Another way to deal with uncertainty is to trust. Trust is a big word with a lot of meaning, especially within this context. So we'll break it down a bit. Having faith in a higher power, trusting in universal fate, relinquishing control within a religion, or trusting the intelligence of our natural world are all individual paths to finding peace with uncertainty. But you don't have to build trust in one of these ways to find your resolve with uncertainty. Instead, you might simply hold a belief in the good in people or adopt an outlook that things out of your control will work out for the best. Wherever you decide to find trust, make sure it feels authentic and natural for you.

5. Practice Patience with an Open Heart

Unlocking your potential is supported by meeting the unknown and giving it a big bear hug. Breaking down the fear and resistance of uncharted territory opens your heart. A practice that helps us stay the course with this intention is to be gentle. So often, the immediate reaction to a struggle is more struggle. This internal battle, of course, just creates more friction. Next time you find a place where you can feel that you are holding on to a reality that is not yours to change, consider some self-inquiry before attempting to force your way through it.   

It might be as simple as welcoming the resistance in like an old friend and asking a question: "Hey resistance, how are you? Do you have an invitation for me?" You might notice that just this pause gives you the space you need to reconnect to your intention and take a step back from the situation.     

You might also notice that listening to your quiet "surrender voice" feels like you are giving up or being defeated in some way. No one wants to feel like a loser! So, sweetly remind yourself that the choice to release and surrender is at the other end of the spectrum. Your choice to hold on a little less tightly is your path to nurturing your wellbeing and honoring your potential. Stressing out about things out of your control is a waste of your energy and life. We all need a little reminder. Just make sure you are extra patient with yourself as you are shifting thought patterns. These changes do take time.  

Dipping in on your moment-to-moment mindfulness practice and breath awareness is another powerful way to enjoy and benefit from micro releases. All of these tiny openings create more space for your heart to be open and allow for the greater possibilities to come.

 

6. Have Faith in Divine Timing

Divine timing recognizes that there is a sequence to the unfolding of events. Whether or not you believe that time is architected by a divine being, there is still a string of happenings that knit together one after the next. Unless, of course, you've figured out time travel!   

Trusting that each event or learning supports and benefits the next one allows us to surrender our time-controlling habits. It may be helpful to review past events in your life and seek the positive in each. As an observer, reflect upon why each event occurred and how it may have supported your journey.  

In our experience, things or situations have shown up at just the right time. But recognizing that you aren't ready for something is difficult in the present. It takes a bit of retrospection to see how you and your capacity to receive has grown. So we've learned to have faith that inner work is happening, creating the space needed to embrace our ever-growing unlimited potential. Said another way, we can drop the ball when things arrive too soon.  

Distance is another benefit that time offers us in activating our intention to release. This is especially helpful when interacting with someone else and their emotions. In this case, you can choose to respond to a potentially triggering event by pressing the pause button. This delayed reaction to something that would typically send you into control mode gives you the chance to show up with compassion and avoid the potentially self-inflicted destructive stress.

 

Final Thoughts on Surrendering & Creating Space for Your Unlimited Potential

We hope you'll incorporate as many suggestions in the list above into your life. You may find some of the practices easier than others, or you may already be doing some of them. The key is to stay on your path. Learning to surrender and let go is a profoundly personal journey. Respect that tapping into these practices takes time and courage. So take it slow and lean into those everyday encounters that give you a chance to explore. The more that you open yourself to the remarkableness and beauty in your current life as is, the more you'll notice that what you desire is right before your eyes.

Hello, #BrighterBeing! Interested in exploring more? Because we’re all about reminders here at LumenKind, we make handy guides and tools to support you in taking action on these insights. And, we hope you'll join us on the journey with monthly insights, suggested intentions, and mindfulness tips. 

Related: Discover your Power Planet 🪐

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