Going With the Flow - How to Embrace Life With These 5 Practices

You’ve heard or may have been told to “just go with the flow” at one point or another. Is this good advice to take? And, if so, what exactly does this mean? The short answer is that, yes, “going with the flow” (and, ultimately, “being in flow”) can help you create a calm and productive life.

The Flow State, a term coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is found at the source of phenomenal mental, artistic, professional and athletic feats. It occurs when you’ve become fully immersed in an activity that causes a deep sense of enjoyment and a loss of time. The more that you are “going with the flow,” the more opportunities you’ll have for discovering the flow state and the rewards that it brings. In another article, we’ll go into more detail about this state of mind and mindfulness. But first, let’s start going with the flow!

There are two perspectives on “going with the flow” for you to consider before diving into our practices below:

• Allow the river to float you where it will. In this view there is an organic unfolding to life that can differ from plans made. In this case, flow means letting go and riding the waves.
• Tap into the current for a smooth ride. This meaning is more akin to a canoer traversing the twists, rapids, and tributaries with intention, purpose, and tools (in this case oars). You recognize the power of surrendering to a force of nature (like above) while also remaining alert to opportunities for the water to propel you forward and avoiding whirlpools when possible!

Both perspectives remind us that 1) it’s best not to resist a force greater than our own; 2) we are not in control of the world around us; and 3) we have choice in the present moment. The difference between them is to what degree you engage with the challenges, opportunities, and experiences that life presents. If you’re ready to tap into the current and find a positive flow in your life, see the practices below that have helped us manage the unexpected curveball, rise above the anxiety, and navigate life more easily.

If you'd like to get started by strengthening your ability to tap into the present moment, take a peek at these simple, quick activities.

1. Be aware of the present moment

Recognizing that the present moment is the only place where real life happens and reminding yourself of this truth when your day feels off the rails is the most powerful way to step into or stay in flow. Thoughts about the past can be both enjoyable and also stress-producing. Projecting your mind into the future can be exciting, hopeful and also induce anxiety around the uncertainty or unwanted potentials. Future and past thinking is not an inherently negative activity. It’s totally natural!

The key is to realize that these memories and dreams that live outside the present moment are just thoughts. Noticing that you're having thoughts and then honoring that they are simply a creation of your mind, rather than your real-life right here right now takes regular practice. Here’s one to try right now… and then again when you hit a speed bump and things seem to be headed in the wrong direction.

First, take three deep, slow breaths. In through your nose and out through your nose.

Next, tap into your five senses from the bottom of your feet up. What’s the temperature of your right pinky toe? How is the tightness of your sock around your ankle? Move on up your body gently noticing what you feel and letting go of any judgemental thoughts.

Follow this present moment scan, taking note of your other four sensations. No need to analyze, just noting as if you’re running through your grocery list before heading to the store. How is the light shining in the room? See any interesting shadows? Do you hear the hum of a fridge or maybe a bird chirping? If you have a sip of water or tea nearby, do you taste something new? And, finally, do you smell coffee in the air? Or maybe you just notice the coolness of the air passing through your nostrils?

Now, you’re re-centered in this real life moment, as an observer. Take note of the thoughts and emotions that may feel at the root of your frustration, anger, anxiety. Call them what they are… thoughts. Not bad or good. Just thoughts.

This awareness of your senses brings you fully into the now and can be completed in full or partially as quickly or slowly as your moment allows. To strengthen this muscle, pick a period of time - say a week, month or even just a day. Choose a place (notebook/phone/wall) that’s easy to make physical notes. Everytime you take a moment to recenter and call out your anxiety-producing future/past thoughts, draw a little star or make a check mark. Give yourself credit and a physical reminder of the powerful shift you're making by simply recognizing thoughts for what they are -- thoughts!

This simple act of awareness allows you to learn more about yourself and become your own personal guide. This practice helps your mind remain calm under pressure and make choices with clarity -- allowing you to stay in the flow and adapt to life’s challenges.  

2. Recognize that you can’t control it all

We all know this! And, yet, part of being human seems to be a tendency to act as though we have it all under control. Of course, there may be many things in your life that feel pretty solid, but in reality, even our most buttoned down parts of our life are shakable. Accidents happen, mother nature brings weather, illnesses occur, and animals make noise in the middle of the night. Simply put, whether it’s fun to admit or not, there are things that can happen that will affect every aspect of our lives. There is only one power play for this: Acceptance.

If you’ve been practicing your present moment awareness skills (see above), then you’re already one step ahead. As an observer of your thoughts, you’ll begin to notice when you may have resistance, denial, anger, or anxiety to a situation that is out of your control. Once you’re clear about the situations in your life that are out of your control, you’re armed to be a gentle guide in accepting reality.

Remind yourself that whatever has your mind and heart tangled, is out of your control. Be kind, like you would with a child, in telling yourself (over and over… and over again) that what has occurred is what it is. Give yourself permission and time to process the feelings related to this unexpected, unwanted life event. Acceptance is not giving up or being happy about the situation, it is letting go of your emotional attachment to it. As you process over the day, months or years, know this work will lead you to a place of acceptance, resolve and peace. This practice invites you to meet adversity with the one aspect of your life in which you have the most power and control -- your ability to choose your response! So next time you’re running late and catch every red light on your way to an important meeting, let this be a learning opportunity to accept the reality and let go of any frustration.  

3. Appreciate life as a flow of change, imperfection, and beauty

If you’re a human, then you’re great at making mistakes. No offense - it’s just our nature! We have a choice to see our common attribute as a helpful part of our learning…. Or, of course, we can choose to just be really angry and hold grudges. If you’d like to live in flow, we hope you’ll join us with this practice and let our imperfections be a part of your life's growth and beauty.

Each mistake gives way to a new perspective and an opportunity to get better next time. This mindset is a lovely way to keep your life in a positive state, ebbing and flowing down the river of life with less stress.

If you have any unrealistic ideals or standards to which you hold yourself or others, explore how you might let these fade and reduce the friction they cause. Instead celebrate these hiccups and focus on what IS working and the progress you’ve made in your life and the lives of others.

4. Laugh! Add humor to the situation

Let out a giggle when the milk spills or maybe you can catch yourself right before diving into a full-on laundry-related adult tantrum. Who knew laundry could be so serious!? It’s worth a laugh! Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have documented evidence of levity being an effective way to elevate your physical and mental health.

Laughter as a tool actually connects back to our acceptance practice. In order to poke fun at the ridiculousness of your car, washing machine, and computer breaking on the same day takes a good dose of detachment. Your observer perspective and/or willingness to at least attempt a chuckle is an excellent medicine for the soul and your ability to go with the flow.

5. Focus on the positives

This final practice is actually our favorite method for embracing all that the world offers. The reason is because this subtle, yet mighty shift in your viewpoint is a direct and simple way to immediately notice that you already are living in flow.

It turns out, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine, having your attention on the good news in your life creates more good news. So keep your eye on the aspects of your life that feel in flow and you might discover that there’s quite a bit of flow already occurring…it’s just a matter of seeing and honoring what already exists.

Another great way to tap into flow with a focus on positivity is brainstorming different things that may have happened or didn’t happen because of a shift in plans. Invite yourself to come up with at least one or two positives whenever something doesn’t seem to go your way.

Ultimately, believing in the possibility that each unexpected twist and turn is there to serve your greatest good positions setbacks as another positive step forward on your journey.

Final Thoughts on Living in the Flow

Incorporate as many suggestions in the list above into your life. You may find some of the practices to be easier than others and others you may already be doing. The key is to stay on your path. With each small practice, you’ll begin to notice the world of possibilities continue to open. With these practices you’ll be prepared to embrace all the gifts (even those that don’t come in a pretty box) with an adaptable, calm, and gracious presence!

Hello, #BrighterBeing! Interested in exploring more? Because we’re all about reminders here at LumenKind, we make handy guides and tools to support you in taking action on these insights. And, we hope you'll join us on the journey with monthly insights, suggested intentions, and mindfulness tips. 

Related: Discover your Power Planet 🪐

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