Cultivating Unity: A Guide to Interpersonal Relationships

Reconnecting with yourself and seeking common ground with others is a source of peace in your life and the world. You may find Unity in the flash of a moment or a lifelong commitment. It may be smiling with a stranger in the park, sharing a meal with a loved one, activating for a cause, or having a quiet moment at home. Honor the connections and shared purpose you discover by being fully present.

Unity means to be united or one as a whole. Sometimes it references being joined nationally like the United Nations. But it also encompasses being connected by a common purpose or with a particular sentiment. In these examples, shared attitudes give you a sense of connectedness, fellowship, or belonging… also known as a community! These feelings are one of humanity's most, if not the most, powerful drivers. Humans live, move, gather insight, and find peace by being a part of the greater whole. We're stronger that way!

In today's world, a community goes far beyond the streets that define your neighborhood or the walls of your favorite hangout . Communities form and dissolve daily with our rapid ability to share our feelings and connect with like-minds and hearts — virtually and in person.

Before you dive into setting an intention around Unity, it's wise to note that there are so many opportunities to find common ground and connect with others that it's easy to feel over-connected! After all, it's our nature to pursue this sense of belonging. If your connection with others feels like it's pulling you apart, we invite you to take a pause and re-unite with your feelings and energy. When you're off center, you lose your balance and can misplace your precious resources. If you spend too much time with people and causes that aren't aligned with your values or greater purpose you can slowly (and often unknowingly) drain your energy and dim your light.

Feeling conflicted or pulled in a million directions? It's time to check in with yourself and get centered on what matters the most to you. When you feel whole as an individual, you're prepared to discover others who share your interests in life and build relationships that are true and meaningful. And these interpersonal relationships are critical to your wellbeing, according to a recent study by the University of Houston that showed the mental health effects of the pandemic. Extensive research shows how healthy relationships and community can extend your life, increase your ability to deal with stress, lower rates of depression, and improve heart health.

Therefore, if you want to live a longer, happier, healthier life, please read on to learn some practices to nurture your interpersonal relationships and form healthy bonds with others.

If you'd like to get started by strengthening your ability to tap into the present moment or explore other mindful themes within the Brighter Being System, take a peek at our Receive Guide.

1. Show Up with a Sense of Purpose

It makes sense that if Unity and being a part of a community is about coming together as a whole, you must first consider that you are a vital part of the whole! To do this, acknowledge your value as a human - whether you're feeling vibrant or dim – you're a remarkable gift to this world and any community that aligns with your passions and beliefs. Even in friendships, one of the most important contributions you can make is simply being there. Too often, we overthink what is required of us to be a meaningful part of a relationship or group.

Start by showing up with an open heart and a willingness to see and feel other ways your presence can bring value to the community or person. This openness is a beautiful way to discover new talents and gifts while helping others along their journey.

Action: Purposeful Presence Practice

• Affirm Your Value: Start your day with an affirmation of your worth. "My presence makes a difference."
• Set an Intention: Choose one intention, like "Today, I will show up fully and listen with an open heart."
• Be Mindful: When joining a group, pause for a moment. Remember your intention and focus on being present rather than overthinking your contributions.
• Engage Naturally: Share, listen, or ask questions in ways that feel authentic. Notice how even small actions add value.
• Reflect: End your day recognizing and celebrating moments when your presence made a difference.

As you recognize you are an essential part of the whole, you can develop new levels of kinship and trust. In a strong community, all work and contributions are valued, and you have room and the trust of others to grow and share your talents.

2. Actively Listen With Your Whole Self

Interpersonal relationships develop with anyone in your life that you see or talk with regularly. So healthy relationships with your close connections (family members, romantic relationships, and close friends) and less familiar contacts (acquaintances and neighbors) are essential to your wellbeing. According to findings from a review of a large body of related research studies, these relationships have the power to impact your physical health and the length of your life. In the review, they found evidence that low social interaction is twice as detrimental to your health as being overweight and that loneliness can have as much of a negative impact as smoking.

This practice reminds us of the positive physical impact of each healthy relationship we nurture. Start by noticing how you listen to others. You might notice that you can feel how they are feeling. Maybe you get excited and reflect back on their energy or, in the case of sad news, tears well up in your own eyes. There may be other times when you catch yourself trying to complete their sentence or interrupt with a related thought or response that just popped into your mind. The most important thing is to notice and shift yourself back into fully paying attention, listening without your own bias or assumptions filling the space.

Action: Mindful Listening Technique

• Clear Distractions: Turn off notifications and set aside your phone to focus fully on the speaker.
• Center Yourself: Take a brief deep breath to quiet your mind before the conversation begins.
• Engage with Body Language: Maintain eye contact, nod, and lean slightly forward to signal your attentiveness.
• Listen for Feelings: Focus on both the words and the emotions behind them. Notice subtle cues like tone and facial expressions.
• Clarify Thoughts: After the speaker finishes an idea, summarize what you heard or ask an open question like, "Can you tell me more about that?"
• Hold Your Tongue: Resist the urge to interrupt or interject with your own experiences until they have fully shared.

When you listen with your whole self, you hear the full story, the whole human before you. This level of connection builds trust between you and is the root of all health-boosting, life-force-giving relationships. Deepen your understanding and grow from this connection by engaging fully. Consider reflecting on what they've shared with you after they finished a thought, asking open questions, and relating to their story in a nonjudgemental way. The technical term for this is active listening. It is an incredible tool for deepening your understanding and connection with others on your path.

3. Balance Your Sharing 

Listening, being kind, and finding unique ways to be helpful to an individual or group are excellent ways to create and deepen healthy bonds. There's another critical ingredient to infusing your life with a healthy, loving community and friends. As you work toward developing new relationships or building more meaningful connections, we encourage you to consider a balance in sharing. You may be a remarkable listener, but to complete the circle, you must also be willing to share your experiences, emotions, and ideas. Psychologists call this process self-disclosure and attribute it to deepening intimacy. Like a see-saw moves up and down on its fulcrum, sharing within a healthy relationship finds this same give and take.

Just as a balance is required when you're learning about someone else and sharing yourself, it's also important to consider how much you share and at what point.

Action: The Pause & Check Method helps you decide if you're ready to share more deeply, keeping your self-disclosure balanced.

• Pause: Take a deep breath to center yourself.
• Ask: Silently question, "Am I comfortable sharing this?" 
• Check: Notice if you're relaxed or experiencing tension.
• Share: Start with a small detail to gauge the conversation.

For some of us, sharing may be very easy - maybe even so easy that we tend to share too much information too soon. It is a beautiful gift to share your heart freely and openly, and it's equally important to share in a cadence that your new friend or group can lovingly process.

For example, imagine you're at a new friend's place for dinner. Your host immediately places all your favorite foods in front of you all at once. Dream, right?! Well...what if they're all on one plate that is jumbled together (chocolate ice cream, roasted Brussel sprouts, and gorgonzola cheese), and there's just so much that it's spilling off the plate. And, worst of all, in your host's eagerness to serve you this supposedly delicious meal, they forget to provide you with utensils or a napkin…. But you can tell they really want to make you happy, so you smile, nod, and say thank you.

So next time you're diving into a story and then another story and then your last emotional trauma… take a deep breath. Allow some breathing room for your conversation partner(s) and get a sense of how the see-saw is moving. Have you been up or down too long? Balance it out with curiosity and a thoughtful question.

On the flip side, if you find that your see-saw is tilting the other way and you haven't shared much about your life, take a moment to reflect on what might be causing this block and explore what details about your experience feel comfortable or relevant to share.

Allowing others to know more about you helps build trust and context for who you are and how they can be a valuable part of your life. Though opening up may be difficult for some of us or during certain periods, it's important that you find a balance that feels good for where you are in the relationship. Sharing yourself is a way of showing that you also trust and care for them.

In a community or at a collective level, sharing is also a critical way of deepening relationships, and it is also how the group accumulates collective knowledge. The entire community benefits when many individuals voice their views, experiences, and expertise. As this pool of information grows, members can better work together to solve problems and support each other on their journey.

Final Thoughts on The Importance of Community & Interpersonal Relationships

At its core, unity is about making room for authentic connection. It’s not about grand gestures, but about being true to yourself and open to others. When you show up fully, listen with genuine curiosity, and share at a pace that feels natural, you create bonds that transform everyday moments into a supportive community. Embrace these practices as small, meaningful acts that enrich both your life and the lives of those around you.

If you’d like to take a moment to reflect on your relationship with centering, visit our Unity Page for a simple journal prompt to deepen your connection with this intention.