Listening From Within - 6 Practices to Activate a Discerning Mind

We learn, grow, and shine our brightest by listening with curiosity. Rather than accepting each passing moment for what it is, you can expand and strengthen your mind's capacity and life by sprinkling in a bit of wonder. When you "deep listen" with an open mind and heart, life slows and creates space for insights and guidance that support your journey.

There are three basic skills to master to improve our listening ability: 1) paying attention, 2) keeping a positive attitude, and 3) cultivating adaptability. Each of these helps you more deeply listen to yourself, others, and your surroundings or life itself.

The practice of deep listening starts by first learning to really pay attention to what's going on inside your mind. So we'll start there.

Tuning in at this level elevates your ability to recognize patterns and make better choices about what to do based on what might happen. This finely tuned pattern-detecting decision-making capacity is called discernment. When you have a discerning mind, you respond to opportunities and challenges in alignment with the best version of yourself. Discernment is an inner feedback loop that helps you interpret your inner and outer worlds and confidently choose a path forward.

Your ability to activate your discerning mind and make good decisions is based on how well you listen to yourself. Below are our top practices for calming mental chatter and hearing the wisdom of your internal guidance system.

If you'd like to get started by strengthening your ability to tap into the present moment, take a peek at these simple, quick activities.

1. Trade Tension for Attention

Did you know tense muscles hold stress that can keep your mind from thinking clearly? Sometimes it's the most subtle things that can benefit (or drag you down) over time. A batch of tight muscles hanging on your bones usually doesn't happen overnight - except those charlie horses - yow! Most of the time, tension builds over time, so you may not be aware that your shoulders are 2 inches closer to your ears than when you woke up. Holding tension in your body means less attention where you want it.

So hunt down those snags when you bend or knots when you rub (yes, you, lower back and hamstrings!) and stretch out those kinks. When you stretch, lean just on the edge of slight discomfort and hang there for a bit. Experts associated with the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) suggest that you work flexibility into all of your major muscle-tendon groups at least 2-3 times per week, allowing at least three repetitions of 15-20 seconds for each stretching exercise. Here are five specific exercises they recommend. You can visit their website for more.

• Neck: Standing with your feet shoulder-width apart, knees and hips slightly bent, and with your hands on your hips, gently and slowly rotate your head. Circle your head five times in each direction. Don't let your head fall back too far. Be gentle with yourself.
• Shoulders: Do gentle, circular shoulder shrugs five times in each direction (from back to front and from front to back). Next, starting with your arms reaching down and your fingers extended, circle your arms in front of you, up by your head, and then behind you and back down again. Do five rotations in each direction.
• Waist: Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulder-width apart and knees and hips bent. Gently twist your waist from side to side 10 to 20 times. Your hips and lower body should remain fixed and stable so that the gentle side-to-side turn comes from the waist. Let your arms naturally move from side to side along with your body.
• Hips: With your feet slightly wider than shoulder-width apart, your knees slightly bent, and your hands on your hips, gently move your hips in a circle in each direction five times.
• Back and hamstrings: Stand up straight with your feet shoulder-width apart (or closer if you can keep your balance), then gently bend forward from your waist, keeping your knees straight, and reach with your hands down toward your toes. Let your weight fall toward your shoulders and head while keeping your balance. Feel the stretch in your lower back and hamstrings, and try to maintain this stretch for a count of 10 to 30 seconds. Then, slowly and gently, rise back up to the standing position.

2. Calmly Witness Your Inner Critic

  A critical part of learning to listen to your inner guidance is understanding the difference between inner guidance and inner sabotage. We have all experienced the voice inside that chimes in with reasons why you won't achieve your goals or how your latest accomplishment wasn't really all that great. This "Inner Critic" is not your inner guidance system. In fact, this voice is often at odds with the brilliant being that you are!

Remember there are three skills to deepen your listening abilities and sharpen your decision-making abilities. The first is paying attention. Start by noticing when this critic is on deck. Rather than engaging and diving down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts, just pay attention to what is crossing your mind. Are you dismissing your needs, desires, or even pain? Do you hear words that compare you to others? And… how about the word - "should"? Without judgment, make a mental note - "Ah, there's my Inner Critic. Hey there." You can also check out this Harvard study on identifying negative thought patterns.

The next skill is keeping a positive attitude, and this practice aims right at the bullseye for nurturing a healthy mindset. By separating from your Inner Critic and not identifying or playing into its unhelpful thoughts, you can maintain an attitude that allows you to listen with an open mind and heart. You can't see or hear the truth when a dark cloud pervades your mind. And, your truth is jet fuel for discernment! Said another way - If you let the Inner Critic's thoughts take the lead, you will not see the whole picture. By witnessing, rather than engaging with these thoughts, you begin to make decisions that match you and the life you want to lead.

The more you observe this voice with curiosity, the easier it is to realize just how unhelpful, harsh, and uncaring, this Inner Critic can be. We've given our Inner Critic a name to further separate from the counterproductive entity - Mr. or Mrs. Blabs. 'Oh, hello, Mrs. Blabs. I hear you, but you're not me." The more you observe this voice calmly, the easier it is to realize just how unhelpful, harsh, and unreasonable it can be. This calm listening may not make the Inner Critic disappear. However, over time you may find that your Inner Critic shows up less often or softens a bit when you don't feed into its stories.

Another tool for keeping a positive attitude and creating a mental environment for quality decision-making is to create a "kind council" that resides in your head with personalities who offer rebuttals to the lame thoughts of your "Mr./Mrs. Blabs" spews. These additional perspectives will help you paint the whole picture - the truth... You might include the voice of a close friend, partner, or even movie characters that you can ally with in responding to your Inner Critic's negative thoughts. When you choose to keep your inner critic out of your inner circle, you are practicing the third skill required for deep listening – cultivating adaptability. You are choosing a path alternative to the one that may have been your natural go-to.

There is A LOT packed into this practice - it engages all three deep listening skills (attention, attitude, and adaptability). By setting your Inner Critic aside, you are clearing the way of what is not you, so you can better tune into the precious guidance within you.

3. Doodle Through Mental Chatter

Patient listening and mental clarity are vital to becoming the person you seek to be. But if your mind is full of a torrent of thoughts whipping in every direction, taking a moment to listen intently may feel overwhelming. Maybe the flurry in your mind isn't negative; there's just too much to process! Instead, it's like going to a dinner party, and everyone talks to you all at once. How can you possibly listen, reflect, or respond thoughtfully? The same challenge can happen within your mind. This cacophony can cause you to take the lead from The Chatter (whatever it is) rather than the real you. This is one way that you can find yourself and life in a place that is very different from the life you desire. Your discernment, also known as your guidance system, was simply drowned out by the noise.

So how do you get your mind to turn down the volume of the buzz so you can actually listen? There are many mindfulness practices and exercises that may be a fit for you to explore. And, if sitting with your eyes closed focused on your breath for a few minutes feels like more than what you can do now, start with another mindfulness practice researchers have recently proven to help with learning and retention – doodling! ReMARKably, swirling your pencil around can actually help you let go of mental stress and focus. Scientists believe that doodling helps us fill in the gaps to help make sense of our lives. When your mind has difficulty creating a continuous narrative, doodling offers your brain a point of focus and connections from one thought to the next. This may help you feel more relaxed and deepen your concentration. This allows you to slow the torrent and improve your ability to focus and listen.

4. Entertain Your Imagination

  Activating your discerning mind begins by opening yourself to the whole possibility. Sometimes we make choices based on what we think must be true before considering all of what may be. For example, if you want a certain type of work or relationship, and your rational mind clicks through all the hurdles why this won't happen, you're missing out on hearing from a whole part of yourself! When what you want seems outrageous when facing a choice, invite an internal exploration. Try asking yourself, "Imagine if…" when you confront something that seems like a hurdle that you want to jump over but don't know how. Let this be a creative exercise and give it space and maybe a few passes. You might be surprised by what comes up for you when you listen to your whole self - even the parts that may be a bit shy.

5. Ask Yourself Great Questions

Conversations are more dynamic and fruitful when you are curious, open, and ask questions of someone you've just met or a dear friend. The same is true for learning to listen more deeply to yourself. Ask questions! We often share about the importance of reflective thinking and its power to guide your choices in life. This practice is the most potent when it comes to the third skill of listening - being adaptable and adjusting your mindset or actions based on what you learn to be true. Often thoughts run on autopilot with whatever used to be accurate or you've been told. By asking yourself good questions, you can gut-check what is still valid or maybe even discover that what you believed to be true never really aligned with what you actually want or believe. These types of self-reflection questions can sometimes be a bit uncomfortable, but continuing to make choices that don't align with who you are or the life you want to lead is far more uncomfortable. Check out our Mindful Moments Guide for practices and prompts for you to explore. Some examples include:

• What are you grateful to have today that you didn’t have a year ago?
• What are areas in your life that you would like to invite change? And why?
• Project yourself into your ideal future a year from today.  How do you feel? What do you see? Who or what is around you?  What are you most excited about?
• What are upcoming opportunities to listen more deeply or more openly express yourself?
• What areas of your life do you feel most confident and secure? What can you learn from this area that may build upon your self-trust in all aspects of your life?
• What do you feel when you imagine a life that is deeply nourishing? How can you invite more of those sensations today?
• What can you learn from areas or times in your life that feel (or have felt) in flow? How can you apply this to aspects of your life that feel too flexible or rigid?

6.Chat with your Confusion

The final practice for activating your discerning mind by deeply listening to yourself takes into account that even if you find a calm focus, rest into a positive mindset, and clear the mental clutter, there may still be times that you feel at a loss. First, give yourself some love for your commitment to rise above and listen to what matters most to you. Choosing to make space and cultivate a mental home for a deeper truth is a valiant journey that will continue to offer new opportunities for insight. When you find a fuzzy place along your path, take a moment to pinpoint where you feel the confusion in your body. This may feel awkward initially and require additional time to sit with that question. But keep listening to sense where you might feel confusion within your body. Once you've identified a physical place where the confusion exists, you've taken the first step in separating the confusion from yourself. Speak to this place directly as you would a friend. Listen to what it says. You're strengthening your inner voice and your ability to hear it by giving space for this type of internal inquiry. Too often, our habit is to grind through the rational possibilities without taking a beat to check in with our inner guidance system.

Final Thoughts on how to Listen From Within and Activate a Discerning Mind

Deep listening was actually the beginning of LumenKind. After an extended period of doing, the founder chose to stop doing the same things and "do" the opposite - just BE! It didn't make rational sense at the time for this lifestyle pivot, but after a relatively short period, her life began to flow with more ease. One of the great gifts of her intention to LISTEN and her choice to make space to be is LumenKind. We hope you'll also take a moment to be and incorporate as many suggestions in the list above into your life. You may find some of the practices easier than others and others you may already be doing. The key is to stay on your path. With each small practice, you'll notice more mental clarity, improved discernment, and a life that shines as brightly as you!

Hello, #BrighterBeing! Interested in exploring more? Because we’re all about reminders here at LumenKind, we make handy guides and tools to support you in taking action on these insights. And, we hope you'll join us on the journey with monthly insights, suggested intentions, and mindfulness tips. 

Related: Discover your Power Planet 🪐

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