Set Yourself Free - 6 Ways to Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

Still, hanging on to that project where the feedback was lackluster last month? A biting comment by someone you thought was your friend? Or maybe you just got the you're-a-terrible-mom eye roll? Or, perhaps you're holding on to a relationship that has become damaging? These things burn - perhaps a hot sting or a slow, uncomfortable simmer. But, the truth is that allowing past adverse events to stick around for too long can cause "acid reflux" for your soul.

An example of this "acid reflux" might be a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach after a flash of a not-so-happy memory. Of course, feeling icky about frustrating or sad situations is natural. But, it's also crucial to honor your feelings. Scientists at the University of Texas discovered that negative emotions get stronger if we avoid them. So, the magic word here - process vs. hold. Processing negative emotions around past experiences means you're in motion - working through it.

So why is releasing emotions a part of our Brighter Being system? Of course, feeling down isn't fun, but there's another reason too! By freeing thoughts, things, relationships, and emotions that no longer support your life, you do two critical things that allow you to shine your brightest. First, you let go of the chains or emotional weight bearing down on you - in short, you become lighter! You also create more space for fresh perspective and opportunities that align with your brightest self.

According to brain research, we hold on to the past to protect our future selves. So, as you begin to discover areas where you are gripping, be kind to yourself. In this spirit, we'd love for you to consider adding a few of our favorite practices below. We curated these to help you discover and let go of the old to make room for the new.

If you'd like to get started by strengthening your ability to tap into the present moment, take a peek at these simple, quick activities.

1. Declutter Your Space

Take a moment to look around your space - really look. Take note of each object from left to right, top to bottom. Maybe open that drawer or see what's behind the door. Do you see anything you hadn't noticed in a while? Whether conscious of these things or not - your subconscious sees them every time they cross your visual window. And if you think you're home-free because all your clutter resides in a cabinet or closet? Well, though visually, this may offer you a more calming space, an accumulation of stuff is often associated with an inability to find the thing you need when you need it. So not exactly ideal.

The funny thing about decluttering is that the only time most of us can deeply feel or understand the level these unused, unneeded items are wearing on us is when they are gone! Thankfully scientists have given us some extra encouragement by discovering that your physical environment heavily influences your state of mind. So there you have it, reducing clutter in your home and workspace improves your satisfaction with life.

For example, a calm, clean living room offers you the peace and rejuvenation you need to feel and shine your brightest - in other words, get rid of yesterday's mess! And the same is true for your office – a disorganized desk can cause distraction and lack of clarity.

There are many benefits to releasing your stuff into another life (hopefully through donation). The immediate impacts you may experience from a freshly tidied space are a boost in creativity and a reduction in time/frustration spent tending to your unnecessary stuff – think piles of paper, obsolete gadgets, broken junk, or clothes you'll never wear.

Although this may seem like purely a physical activity, one thing to note is that we often connect our emotions to things. So take your time and phone a friend if you feel stuck or overwhelmed! To honor any feelings that may arise, ask yourself a few questions about the objects. How has it brought you joy? How do I feel about it now? Why is it no longer on active duty in your life? And if you're looking for help sorting through your clothes - which can be a sensitive zone - we recommend connecting with Laurel Kinney. She's a personal stylist with a background in social work who developed an online course to help you shine from the inside out.

The most important part is to keep in mind that you are making way for more good energy and mental clarity with each new space you create. So why not start with a tabletop or drawer? Start with a tiny area and go from there.

2. Detox with a Juice Fasting Cleanse

Juice fasting often gets put in the "diet" category, but that rainbow of liquid nutrients has a lot more packed into it! There is a good chance you'll drop some extra weight if you embark on a juice cleanse journey. And perhaps more importantly, juice cleanses are an excellent practice for releasing toxins that build up over time. These two physical benefits are powerful on their own. So you might be surprised to learn that those aren't the main reasons this practice landed on our top list for tapping into the power of letting go.

The most significant impact you might find in diving into a juice cleanse is the emotional detox that often emerges as a part of the experience. Committing a day or three to absorb your nutrients through healthy juices rather than your everyday meals can sometimes be challenging. However, with a check-in with your doctor and an expertly guided plan, you'll know that your safety and health are in good hands. This professional guidance lets you focus on the thoughts and emotions that pop up and chew on as many insights as you'd like.

We typically do at least a couple of juice cleanses each year and often find a new insight into our relationship with food each time. These mini-breaks from the norm are a time of deep self-care and a mental and emotional reset for us. As a result, we're better able to appreciate the foods we eat and even discover unfamiliar tastes to add to our diet. It also feels like you're giving your body a giant warm fuzzy. Our bodies do lots of work for us, so releasing them from a few days of heavy digestion is like giving your insides a vacation! And, as a bonus, when you are back to your chewable meals - you'll notice an extra sprinkling of gratitude in each bite!

So, if you plan to explore this practice, commit to also noticing your habits and emotional attachments. These are much easier to spot after taking them off the table for a few days. A few days of a mindful juice cleanse invites a fresh perspective into your life. It enables you to let go of whatever might not be serving you - habits related to food, toxins building up in your system, and so on. The practice creates space for even deeper learnings to emerge. To get the most out of your experience, we highly recommend you tap into the wellspring of knowledge and inspiration that Jacquelyn Krieger offers in her book, Chakwave.

3. Forgive Abundantly

 We've traversed a couple of practices that spotlight ways to release from your physical (inner and outer) environment. Both decluttering and juice cleansing can be deeply healing practices that support emotional release. That said, our top practice for emotional release is forgiveness. It's so crucial to your wellness we made a specific Mindful Mark to help you with this focus. So how exactly do you practice forgiveness as it relates to letting go?

The first step to forgiveness is to reflect on people or situations where you feel tension. You've likely spotted an opportunity for forgiveness when you see a face or recall a situation in your mind and a negative emotion arises! But, before you head straight down the path of forgiveness, notice where you can take responsibility and drop the blame game with those negative feelings.

Often opportunities for forgiveness live fully within ourselves. We're disappointed in how we reacted to someone or frustrated that we didn't keep a promise we made to ourselves. The good news is that there is no one to blame! So you're already one step ahead. On a more serious note, you are also the only one who will feel the pain of your continued negative self-talk and resentment until you choose to forgive. Those negative feelings that are left unaddressed grow to be even fiercer negative feelings. Yikes.

So, you now recognize your role and any responsibility for an externally-driven resentment. Or, for something internally-focused, you've chosen to forgive yourself. Celebrate this moment because your choice to forgive is a huge milestone! And according to science, it is also a crucial part of your mental health.

The next step is to honor that you are the primary benefactor when you forgive yourself and others. Of course, if you remain in contact with someone you've forgiven and choose to share your thoughts, that can benefit them. But, ultimately, finding internal resolve and complete forgiveness only requires you - your mind and heart - to free yourself from negative emotions. It might be helpful to step into another person's shoes to get an outside perspective of you or an inside perspective of the person you are trying to forgive. It is more than ok if no one else knows where you stand because what matters is that you are now a happier, healthier person because of your choice to forgive.

Letting go may take time – like peeling layers of an onion. And there may even be tears too! Know that you are opening emotional space for a happier, healthier you. The practice of forgiving in abundance is like opening the windows on a beautiful spring day and letting the anger, guilt, shame, sadness, and anything else negative simply float away.

4. Jump in and Go for a Swim

  Any form of exercise - and the endorphins it releases - is excellent for your physical and emotional freedom. Swimming, though, takes the gold medal for most beneficial on our list regarding activating your power to let go! Researchers have also found that going for a dip improves blood flow to your brain and supports your mental wellbeing.

Just imagining your body flowing through the water with lightness and ease can be relaxing. Swimming is unique from other exercises in two ways that are especially helpful for practicing letting go. Most other activities are weight-bearing, require muscle tension to hold on to an object, or involve reacting more intensely to the force of gravity. On the other hand, floating gives you a sense of freedom that can be both a physical and mental release.

Additionally, swimming requires more mindful, even, and regulated breathing. Swimmers who prefer breaths without chlorine and sputtering adopt a rhythmic pattern of breathing in and releasing carbon dioxide between their strokes. This coordinated full-body aspect to swimming can also be a powerful mindfulness practice. So if releasing is a part of your brighter being journey, we encourage you to find a pool, find your flow, and let go.

5. Try Some Laughter Yoga

Laughter Yoga is a practice that invites voluntary laughter over an extended period. Laughter, in general, has all sorts of benefits for our immune system and relaxation. It offers a mighty physical and emotional release. We're not going to lie - this practice can be a bit awkward to start! But it works, and research showed positive effects too. So we're excited to share it and invite you to give it a try next time you're feeling stressed, weighed down, or just holding on to a bad attitude. It was also a fun, quick activity to explore on the weekend with family. We caught our first practice on Youtube, and you can also find a chuckle guru at an in-person class. As a solo act or with others - getting your giggle on is a fun and potent way to open up more space in your life for the goodness and positivity you deserve!

6. Give Yourself Permission to Seek Professional Help

If you're processing something that feels big, chunky, spiky, or slow-moving, we are huge advocates of seeking professional help. Licensed therapists are pros for a reason. They have years of training and practice helping others with similar issues work through challenges. So if you're having difficulty letting go of something or someone (maybe yourself) hurting you, ask for referrals to a therapist from your friends. Or make a quick inquiry online to see what local professionals or online resources may be a good fit for you.

As you take these incremental steps to your first appointment, keep in mind that you are making a courageous and loving decision for yourself and your loved ones. Seeking professional help acknowledges that you are a human who wants to live this life fully and honor your gifts.

If you just have a sense that a therapist might be helpful for you but aren't ready to commit, that's ok. Go ahead and figure out who your resource might be and find out if they accept new patients or clients. In other words, prepare a path of ease to do the leg work when you feel ready to commit.

Final Thoughts on Being Kindhearted and Developing your Empathetic Skills

A related topic for you to consider as you begin to expand your kindness toward others is boundaries. Being there for someone to understand and support is only supportive as long as you keep a clear line between their emotions/experience and yours. Holding on to what some else may be feeling for too long can dim your light. This means you’ll have less energy for helping them or yourself.

We hope you’ll Incorporate as many suggestions in the list above into your life. You may find some the practices easier than others and others you may already be doing. The key is to stay on your path. With each small practice, you'll notice your kindness expand, and your life shine more brightly!

Hello, #BrighterBeing! Interested in exploring more? Because we’re all about reminders here at LumenKind, we make handy guides and tools to support you in taking action on these insights. And, we hope you'll join us on the journey with monthly insights, suggested intentions, and mindfulness tips. 

Related: Discover your Power Planet 🪐

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